i think there are irreconcilables in the life that just have to be lived with

there is some rest in this living with them

you can't burden others with it because they do not accept it and they are not you

thats why i liked that desert father quote

"No matter how great your sufferings are, your victory over them is in silence"

in other words, you can't get from others what cannot be given, so its better just to take what is given and avoid friction and distress

the grief just gets washed away in the usual swirl of the universe's passing


lifes unresolvable questions are a theme as old as eternity

from a chinese poem by Li He (1790 - 1860)

“Witness the man who raved at the wall as he wrote his questions to Heaven.”

thats me

the original man who raved at the wall was Qu Yuan who was born about 340 BC


“One of Qu Yuan's more remarkable poems is the 'Heavenly Questions', which asks over 170 questions about the universe, the creation of the heavenly bodies, the earth, myths and legends, and historical events.

These 'raving questions' were said to have been written on the walls of the shrines of former kings and the ancestral halls of the nobles of the state of Chu.

According to Graham, the preface to the 'Heavenly Questions' contains the following passage:

Why not call them 'Questions to Heaven'? Heaven is too august to be questioned, so he called them 'Heavenly Questions'.

Ch'ü Yüan in exile, his anxious heart wasted with cares, roamed among the mountains and marshes, crossed over hills and plains, crying aloud to the Most High, and sighing as he looked up at heaven.

He saw in Ch'u the shrines of the former kings and the ancestral halls of the nobles, painted with pictures of heaven and earth, mountains and rivers, gods and spirits, jewels and monsters, and the wonders and the deeds of ancient sages.

When he tired of wandering among them he rested beneath them; and he took the pictures which he saw above him as themes for writing on the walls his raving questions.”


you can write but no-one hears no-one listens



Heaven is inscrutable,

Earth keeps its secrets,

The nine-headed monster eats our souls,

Frosts and snows snap our bones.

Dogs are set on us, snarl and sniff around us,

And lick their paws, partial to the orchid-girdled,

Till the end of all afflictions, when God sends us his chariot,

And the sword starred with jewels and the yoke of yellow gold.

I straddle my horse but there is no way back,

On the lake which swamped Li-Yang the waves are huge as mountains,

Deadly dragons stare at me, jostle the rings on the bridle,

Lions and chimaeras spit from slavering mouths.

Pao Chiao slept all his life in the parted fens,

Yen Hui before thirty was flecked at the temples,

Not that Yen Hui had weak blood

Nor that Pao Chiao had offended Heaven:

Heaven dreaded the time when teeth would close and rend them,

For this and this cause only made it so.

Plain though it is, I fear that you still doubt me.

Witness the man who raved at the wall as he wrote his questions to Heaven.